12 6 / 2012
Monument: A Fuckin’ Short Music Review
If one word could describe this album it would be BRUTAL AS FUCK. That’s also three words. It’s so brutal one word can’t contain it. Imagine a grizzly bear with a whole shark where it’s head would be. And the bear is wielding a chainsaw. And is sawing off Hitler’s head. THAT’S HOW BRUTAL THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS.
Okay, maybe if you’re a metalhead you’ll disagree. I’m sure there is far more brutal shit in the world. But I haven’t heard it, okay? So shut up. Hah.
The Good: It’s fucking INSANE. It never slows down. It attempts to get EVEN MORE BRUTAL for the bonus song, Rust, by adding FUCKING MACHINE GUNS to the song. It’s so much fucking fun to listen to and just go crazy to.
The Bad: It gets boring, okay? REAAAALLY fucking boring. Machine gun guitar riffs just aren’t that interesting after the third song. Period.
The Verdict: If you’re into metalcore and shit, you’ll probably jizz in your supertight pants. If you’re like me and like some hardcore shit now and then, it’s fun for like three songs. But if you don’t hear this album, you won’t be missing that much.
Standout Track: Masses of a Dying Breed
“Guys, it’s not hardcore enough yet. How can we make it more hardcore?”
“Uhhh…we could tune our guitars lower?”
“I literally cannot tune my guitar any lower.”
“Alright, Dave, do you still have that assault rifle your weird redneck cousin bought you when Obama was elected?”
“…Yes…”
“Go get it. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL.”
